“Expiration Dates” by Angus McFury


Guest Blogger Angus McFury tells all:


Expiration Dates… what a load of shit! Get creative.


By Angus McFury

It was milk. Milk that had a little date printed on the carton. The date, slightly faded, said August 13. Now October 4, it was the milk causing the smell in my fridge. A smell that when one went to grab a cold malted beverage the apartment would smell like the anus of Dick Cheney. Friends were coming over in 15 minutes to watch my pre selected scenes of Last of the Mohicans, only the badass ones. I looked at that little date and said “Bullshit.” The man ain’t gonna tell me when to throw my milk out. I immediately grabbed the spoon sitting in the sink and scooped out so called expired milk into a small bowl. Step two, I pulled out the French bread from the trash, deemed too stale to eat by society, and sawed about a bakers dozen little slices. The bread slices I lined around the bowl and placed in front of the TV. Boom, I had some fancy French cheese with croutons to serve my guests.

It doesn’t have to stop with milk. People are always saying things like “You can’t eat that,” or “Oh man it’s moldy better toss it out.” View that as a dare.  Here’s an idea! That moldy block of cheddar cheese you have… not trash. Take a small knife and fashion it into your favorite barnyard animal, place it on your desk… You just saved five bucks by not having to buy a Chia Pet. Brown banana? Put it in a bucket with that half drank beer sitting next to your toilet. Wait a few days. Come back put a lid on the bucket. You’ve got yourself a fruit fly farm that all the kids will be jealous of! Old condiments you’re not sure about? Ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise… get a paintbrush and you have a whole water color set for those arts and crafts times.  The possibilities are limitless.


The take home message from this is simple… don’t let some suit down at big milk tell you what you can and can’t do. Damn the Man!


One response to ““Expiration Dates” by Angus McFury

  1. very interesting, but I don’t agree with you

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