Courtesy of my model roommate JJ:
“I wore a new pair of shoes today and I realized how great a simple pair of shoes can make you feel. There’s just something about sliding my two oversized hushpuppies into the firm warm leather of new Skechers footwear. I think new shoes make you feel different than any other new addition to your accoutrement covered façade. Shoes are like an ego-boosting entourage to your feet—two friends who cheer you on the same way drunken frat boys push their roommate to talk to the pretty girl sitting at the bar who clearly has no interest in meeting anyone that night. When you wear a new pair of trousers or a new shirt or even a new jacket it feels nice, but moving or sitting, they feel the same. But shoes, shoes were made for walking…and doing. You’re compelled, better yet propelled, to take on the day like a vestment draped shark-man taking on a sushi bar. There is a bold yet subtle sense of balance and purpose and a brassy exuberance and that feeling makes a person whole.”
Guest Blogger Angus McFury tells all:
Expiration Dates… what a load of shit! Get creative.
By Angus McFury
It was milk. Milk that had a little date printed on the carton. The date, slightly faded, said August 13. Now October 4, it was the milk causing the smell in my fridge. A smell that when one went to grab a cold malted beverage the apartment would smell like the anus of Dick Cheney. Friends were coming over in 15 minutes to watch my pre selected scenes of Last of the Mohicans, only the badass ones. I looked at that little date and said “Bullshit.” The man ain’t gonna tell me when to throw my milk out. I immediately grabbed the spoon sitting in the sink and scooped out so called expired milk into a small bowl. Step two, I pulled out the French bread from the trash, deemed too stale to eat by society, and sawed about a bakers dozen little slices. The bread slices I lined around the bowl and placed in front of the TV. Boom, I had some fancy French cheese with croutons to serve my guests.
It doesn’t have to stop with milk. People are always saying things like “You can’t eat that,” or “Oh man it’s moldy better toss it out.” View that as a dare. Here’s an idea! That moldy block of cheddar cheese you have… not trash. Take a small knife and fashion it into your favorite barnyard animal, place it on your desk… You just saved five bucks by not having to buy a Chia Pet. Brown banana? Put it in a bucket with that half drank beer sitting next to your toilet. Wait a few days. Come back put a lid on the bucket. You’ve got yourself a fruit fly farm that all the kids will be jealous of! Old condiments you’re not sure about? Ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise… get a paintbrush and you have a whole water color set for those arts and crafts times. The possibilities are limitless.
The take home message from this is simple… don’t let some suit down at big milk tell you what you can and can’t do. Damn the Man!